Table of Contents: Page.1> Introducing Pastor Jim Rives Page.2> Why does God say not to have sex outside of marriage? Page.3> Dear Jim: How does God relate to divorce? Page.4> How do I stop having sex outside of marriage? Page.5> How do I forgive or ask for forgiveness? Page.6> What about long distance relationships? Page.7> Are sparks important in a relationship? Page.8> Should I date a Christian outside my own denomination? Page.9> What about marrying someone with children if I do not have any? Page.10> My relationship is not going anywhere – what should I do? Page.11> What is wrong with living together before we get married? Page.12> Christian Books for Christian Singles Dating Need Help?> How do I choose a good Christian counselor? Dating Safety> Dating Safety for Christians on the internet. ...More Christian Articles & Christian Resources | Books | Counseling & Help READ 25 MORE CHRISTIAN DATING ARTICLES PLUS 25 MORE ARTICLES FOR CHRISTIAN SINGLES ________________________________________________________________

Dear Jim: How does God relate to divorce?

Even though I am the son of a Pastor AND have been in fulltime ministry myself, I am both the child of divorce AND the cause of my children experiencing divorce in their parents. I have come to believe that divorce is the biggest evidence of a fallen nature in our world today. All of us are now touched by it.

How could it be that God allowed divorce in the Old Testament? This will be one of my questions when I arrive in Heaven – I think??? But when Christ came He shared that this was NOT God's perfect will and that God hates divorce. If He hates it, then how does He relate to those in divorce?

Divorce is NOT the unpardonable sin!! So many choices that we make are not what God intended for us – because He knows that they will not bring us the joy and completeness that we think they will.

As with all sin, God's heart is literally broken when we experience divorce – whether we were the primary contributor to it or not. And what does He do when He sees His children hurting? He chases after us with all of His love and grace. It may not seem like it when we are in the middle of all the pain. All we need to do is call out to Him – in our anger, deep pain, depression, whatever – just CALL! He loves you deeply and wants to guide you to the path of restoration and grace.

How do I know? Because I chose to deeply wound my wife of 25 years and cause our divorce. I chose to live in the choices I wanted – instead of His – and caused destruction to play havoc in my life and in the life of my family. BUT God did not give up on me. Through the love of some Christians, deep counseling and God's love and grace, I finally "surfaced" one day into reality. Then I recognized that God had been chasing me ALL my life. He knew that I had this rascal side of me all these years – even when in His ministry.

God had been trying to get my attention to "save" me from the destruction. One day I realized how much damage my sinful nature had caused – even after I was a Christian! Quickly followed the realization that God loved me anyway and been chasing me so that I could become "whole". Now I felt REALLY loved – knew deeply what GRACE was and felt like.

I share this openly because I want you to experience this power in your life. God hates our actions or the actions of others who negatively impact us, but NEVER hates His children. Embrace the difference! Thank Him for it and ask him to walk you THROUGH this period of your life and RESTORE THE JOY OF YOUR SALVATION as King David said after he embraced all the damage that his sin had caused. Mark 10:1-12; Romans 5:8; Psalms 51:12