Finding the Top Christian Dating Service that is right for you
by Danny the webservant / webmaster at AdamMeetEve.com

First let me say how much I respect you for obeying the 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 Bible verses concerning God’s explicit command that born again Christian believers not engage in dating or marriage to non-Christians.

There are then four factors that I consider in seeking a Christian mate or “soul-mate” through online Christian dating services like the ones reviewed on page two:

1. Is the website owned and operated by a mature, committed Christian (or Christians)? Or do they advertise their website to non-Christians or try to fill the database with any “warm bodies” even if the person is not a Christian? Some secular sites try to play both sides of the spiritual fence, advertising that their website is Christian to Christians and also advertising to non-Christians as well. This practice would clearly mislead you and encourage you to disobey 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 by giving you a personals database of non-Christians to join and use. God calls us to be salt and light. We are called to be in the world, but not of the world. (Please read Proverbs 3:5-6) God wants us to “acknowledge” Him in all that we do and He will make our path straight. In Proverbs 3:6 the word “acknowledge” means live and act and speak as if God is watching us, every second of our lives because He is and He knows everything before it ever happens. God knows our hearts.

2. Is the website large enough to provide a good selection of Christians that I would want to date or befriend or consider marrying? God’s word says that “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” and, being all-powerful, God can certainly create your special personal soul mate out of thin air, or a rib like He did for Adam, but short of that miracle, God might just want to let you choose a godly Christian mate from a large database. This assumes that God has lead you to consider using an online Christian dating service. God does do miracles. He also wants us to pray and use the wisdom and freedom of choice He has graciously lavished upon us.

3. Is the website well maintained, providing good value for your membership fee in terms of search, chat or instant messenger and other features like website speed, and customer service? Is help available via telephone or just through e-mail only? Most free websites do not have sufficient revenue to constantly improve and maintain the database system for your enjoyment. Down time or system crashes can put a real drag on your love life especially if they occur right when you want to contact someone who could be your potential soul mate. Also we have found that free sites tend to attract people who enter, post their very short personals ad, (usually with little or no description and no photo), and leave without ever bothering to search out or contact others. “Active” members provide a greater choice for you, and the large, fee-based websites tend to have way more “active” members. They also tend to have better security and privacy features, but no matter what, never use your real name or work or home e-mail address. It is wise to always make sure you get what I call a “disposable e-mail address” that you only use for your personal ads. Something like: yournickname@hotmail.com or yourfakename@yahoo.com or get a private aol.com account.

4. And finally, does the website provide a free trial membership, so I can try it out for free (usually for 10 days) before I have to “pay to stay”? Allowing you to use the system before you pay is honest and honorable and pleases God because it shows that a website has nothing to hide.

Then, prayerfully and honestly, I look at four factors to consider regarding myself and the person I want to meet for pen pals, dating and maybe even a godly marriage:

1. Do I truly know myself well enough to decide at this time what kind of person I should seek as a mate? Ask yourself: “Do I have unresolved sins, habits, character flaws, or hurt from past relationships or abuse that I need to deal with before I can be a godly mate to the special person God matches me up with for life?” To find, marry and keep a godly mate you need to strive to be a godly mate yourself. Are you nurturing a godly relationship with Jesus? Do you pray and read your Bible and fellowship and worship at a bible teaching church? Are you ready for a godly mate? Only you and God can know for sure. We love you and care about you and if you need online help just click here, but first try to find a local Pastor or Christian counselor.

2. Do I want to do the searching or let a human and/or computer “matchmaker” do the searching for me? Some people are take-charge, do it yourselfers, and others are more passive. But ultimately God is in charge. I very much believe what is posted at the top of our home page: “God, the best Matchmaker of all, created your perfect soul mate, your personal Adam or Eve. Pray for them daily now before you ever meet, start dating or become pen pals.”

3. Do I want to pay for what I get or take a chance on a totally free site that usually has a smaller selection and slower system? (You get what you pay for, and ask yourself if you would want to date a person so “cheap” that they would not even pay a small fee to use a good database and fast search system to find you? Well, to be honest, are you interested in meeting and dating someone who is not serious enough about meeting you to pay a small fee to help maintain the website you are both using? This applies to investing time and well as money: before you even meet your soul mate, be considerate and show that you care by posting an honest, well written description and an honest, up to-date photo of yourself. God honors and blesses those who are honest and generous with the time and money He has given them to manage. Please know that we are here to help you. We recognize that not everyone is a gifted writer, so if you need help writing or editing your personals ad description just click here for writing help, but first try to get a local friend or family member to help you write your description. Often our friends and family know us better than we know ourselves and certainly add a new perspective to consider.

4. And finally, ask yourself: do I have the time right now to take advantage of the free trial membership? In Proverbs we are told, “if you build a tower, consider the cost.” You can and should spend a huge amount of time writing your profile, selecting and posting your photo and then, spend lots of time searching and contacting others and replying to those who contact you before your free trial membership expires. Investing time and money in your personal happiness and the happiness of your future mate is one of the most important investments you can make. Please do not be passive. Step out in faith; knowing that God loves you and has plans to bless you. (Please read Jeremiah. 29:11) I get a number of e-mails from single Christians wanting to know the ’number of, or location of, or age of, a particular gender of members before they sign up for a free trial membership. I try to be helpful and search out the answer for them, but I can’t help wondering why they don’t just try the free trial membership. After all, that is what it is there for. Do you have the time and ambition it takes to find a godly mate within a database of thirty to forty thousand members? Believe me, it is worth the effort.

continued on page 2