On Being a Virgin, Christian Morals, Purity and Christian Dating
by Sarah Carter, author of Single Christian Female

Virgin – I always thought it was just a record label, but it's actually lots more. It is a decision, a conviction, a lifestyle. And believe me, it can be difficult!! There has never been a more sexually aware generation than this one. Plenty of people will want to take the gift of virginity from you before you get married, but you don't have to give in. You do have a choice, and it is a choice you aren't making alone.

I am 27 and a virgin eagerly awaiting Prince Charming!! As I said, being a virgin till I marry is a lifestyle and I have had to make some important lifestyle decisions to remain a virgin for this long. It's nice to sign a piece of paper or wear a chastity ring but keeping your virginity takes more than that. As with everything in life, it's the small choices that make the big difference. So here's some small choices that will certainly help keep the promise you have made to yourself, your parents, your God and your future partner.

1. Work out why you want to be a virgin till you're married.
Is it just because you are afraid of disease or pregnancy? Is it because you're afraid of your parents (perhaps a little fear here is okay)? Those reasons will not seem that important in the heat of the moment. I only want to have sex with one person in my life because I believe it is a very sacred and love-filled experience, I want to show myself faithful to God and my future partner – so I wait.

2. Don't go places you will be tempted
DAH!! People want to sleep with each other when they're drunk and dancing sexually in a nightclub. DON?T GO THERE. You can do heaps of other exciting things apart from clubbing (trust me).

3. Look amazing
Always look beautiful (or handsome) but don't flaunt it. To spell it out NO cleavage, short, short, short skirts, bellies, oh, and no one wants to see your g-string sticking out of your hipster jeans – just remember that guys!!!

4. Kissing police
Here's the deal – touching breasts and going further is NOT ON! How far your tongue goes down someone else's throat is up to you but the further you go, the harder it is to stop the progression.

5. DDD – Don't Date Dofuses!!
You can work out pretty quick whether the person you're dating has the same standards as you (not just accepts your standards but actually believes and lives by those standards whether you are with them or not). If they don't, BREAK UP. Why waste your time?

6. Make sure people are around
Being alone (i.e. on a dark secluded beach where there's no one in sight) is far too tempting for even the most zealous virgin. So if you go to the beach, be sure it's a busy one. Only be at home when others are home too. Plan your time together so it is exciting – do coffee, go to dinner, TALK – then you won't think about fooling around.

7. Birds of a feather?
Hang with friends who have the same standards and morals as you then you will feel uncomfortable if you and your partner have a sexual relationship. It's called positive peer pressure!!

Determine that sex is something you will only experience with one person in your life and when it does happen (i.e. the wedding night), it will be the best thing you've ever done – no regrets, no disappointments, just 100% pure love.

Click here to read SAMPLE CHAPTER 1 by Sarah Carter, author of Single Christian Female

Copyright © 2003 Sarah Carter. Used with permission.

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